The Journey for Lucas Ming and Patrick Hao
We have been home now for two weeks. WOW! Life is different. The first two days that we were home the boys did not sleep at night. The only rest they had was during their two hour naps. We thought that we would be good to go if we tried to follow the pattern we had in China. Okay, maybe we are a little naive. The first night we put them to bed at around 8:00 P.M. They slept until about 9:00P.M. and then they were up and screaming. Mary was up the whole night with the boys. I got up three times to make sure that Mary hadn’t taken up residency in Frosty’s stall. I got out of bed for good at 7:00 A.M. Mary went to sleep at 7:15 A.M. and slept until 2:30 P.M.
That night we went through the same thing. Except this time we decided that we would try to divide and conquer. We setup the playpen and a couple of blankets and pillows in the office and Mary took Lucas. I setup blankets and pillows in the boys’ room with Patrick. We thought that if one of the boys was screaming we could separate them and hopefully not wake up the other. They showed us. Both boys were up the whole night.
Even though we knew what the problem was we could not accept it. We were smarter than a couple of two year olds and their internal clocks. But ultimately we dragged these two across twelve time lines in twenty-four hours. There is a formula that says that for every hour of the time line that you cross it takes one day to get over it. So we had close to two weeks of this ahead of us. This doesn’t sound like a long time when you first think of it. But after two days with no sleep it starts to become more difficult to function (there was a time when I got to this point after 4 days). All we wanted was three or four uninterrupted hours of sleep.
On the third night we put the boys down at 7:00 P.M. and an angel must have been looking down on us. The boys didn’t wake up until 7:00 A.M. the next morning. Not one burp or cry during the night. As happy as we were about this we knew that their extended sleep was due to sheer exhaustion. The boys had not slept for close to three days. We knew that we would fall back into the no sleeping mode once again. But that was not to be the case. I think that I have said this in a previous post. I know that I have told this to people that are close to Mary and I. Mary has led a good life. She is a really good person. She is kind, loving and generous. Mary is loyal to her family and friends and always has been. She cares about the environment and the creatures that reside there. So this is part of her payback. A reprieve from another two weeks of sleepless nights. Although it still doesn’t explain how Mary got stuck with me…
The boys continue to eat everything in sight. We are not too worried about the horses because Patrick and Lucas would have to walk across the grass for an equine meal. Both boys are terrified of the grass which at our house is very limiting. We took the boys out on the grass and they both started screaming. Imagine that!! When I held Lucas over the grass he crunched his knees up to his chin and he seemed prepared to hold them there all week if need be. I guess that they didn’t get much chance to run barefoot in the grass in China. ***Jump ahead two weeks to July 25th. Today our neighbors stopped over with their children. All of a sudden the boys decided it was time to play. They were both running through the grass. Falling down on the grass and then eating the grass. This went on for about forty minutes. After the neighbors left I broke out a large rubber ball. For the next hour the boys ran all over the grass bouncing off the ball. This is HUGE!!
Both boys love the pool. They have gotten to the point where they will put their face in the water by themselves. NO, I’m not holding them under!!! They will go in a floaty by themselves and then Mary or I can swim out into the deep end with them. They’re having a blast. Mary took the boys to the beach this week and they were not thrilled to walk on the sand. But that didn’t stop them from eating the sand…the boys went into the water at the beach and loved it. They are both eating with spoons and forks. This is not to say that they are expert yet but they are eating by themselves.
In two weeks we have had numerous doctors appointments. And in the coming months we will have many more. So far the boys have done well. They have had full physicals (American style). They have had blood drawn, TB test, the first battery of vaccinations (four shots for each in one sitting). Developmentally they are right on target with exception of their speech (or lack thereof). I don’t think we could be any happier.
Lucas and Patrick have met quite a few family and friends over the last couple weeks. They take a little while to get used to to new people but after that initial period they get pretty comfortable. They especially love the other kids. But in the end they are still mommy and daddy’s boys.
We have been home now for three months. WOW!!! There were moments that Mary and I wondered why we did this to ourselves. Okay, I wondered, Mary knew the answer. Lucas and Patrick are amazing kids. I know that this is coming from a doting father. Everyone who has met them cannot believe that they have been with us for such a short time. There are a lot of days when it seems like we have always been a family. There are other days that are hard to get through. Although, these days are few.
In the last three months the boys have been poked and prodded by more doctors than any child should ever have to see. Our first stop was supposed to be a meet and greet with their pediatrician. This turned into more of a full blown physical , including a TB test. Looking back now , I’m glad that we got part of the process over. Next we went to the International Adoption Clinic at Tufts-New England Medical Center. We started the day with a developmental evaluation. We knew that the boys were somewhat delayed but not having spent an extended amount of time with other two year olds we had nothing to compare them to. The therapist who performed the evaluation was a woman that we had met at an adoption fair we attended. We spent a session with her at the fair and we were not overly impressed . When she showed up at Tufts , we were both relieved and concerned. It was nice to see a face that was familiar to us but our previous experience with her left us skeptical. We found out that she doesn’t work well with large audiences. She was great with the boys. Overall Lucas and Patrick were behind but not as much as we had feared. Next we saw
Dr. Laurie Miller, the director of the clinic. I will start by telling you that we cannot say enough nice things about her. Dr. Miller came in the room while the boys were eating their snacks. She told us not to hurry, she would come back after they had finished eating. We explained their eating habits to Dr. Miller. She told us to let them eat when they wanted. This was not a revelation to us. Dr. Miller to this day is the only doctor who did not make the boys scream. She brought out toys and sat on the floor and played with the boys before examining them. She let them get used to her and her instruments before everything that she did. She was amazed that they were doing so well so quickly. She found that Lucas had a slight heart murmur. She wanted us to have him looked at by a cardiologist just to be on the safe side , especially since the boys were going to have multiple surgeries in the next year. Next stop was back to the pediatrician for their first round of vaccinations. The boys each got four shots that day. If you want to talk about an ugly day. Two nurses came in the room and stood on either side of each of the boys. Mary and I held their hands and at the count of three they jabbed them at the same time. They did the same thing again and gave the boys Scooby band-aides. Needless to say Lucas and Patrick were not happy campers. We gave them Tylenol that night per the nurses suggestion but they did not have a good night. They were up screaming several times We felt so bad to have to put them through this so soon after coming home.
Our next stop was a geneticist. Then the cardiologist, then the nephrologists and finally we went to the craniofacial surgeon for the cleft palates. We saw Dr. Mike Lewis at Shriners hospital Boston. He came very highly recommended. He is getting ready to retire and currently only takes selected cases. When he heard about the boys he agreed to take their case. He came in the room and asked us some questions. Then he spent about two and half seconds looking in each of the boys mouths. He then told us, “yes, they need surgery”. Shriners is scheduling about four months out right now. Since this IS Shriners, they have a lot of patients coming in from out of town. If they get a cancellation where they can handle both boys they will call us. There was a visiting doctor with Dr. Lewis. He was Dr. Su from Guangzhou. At one point while Dr. Lewis was talking to Mary, Dr. Su leaned over to me and whispered “you did a good thing”. And since then we have been back to the pediatrician for more vaccinations. By December the boys will be caught up on all of their shots.
So, how are the boys doing you ask? They’re great. They have gotten over their fear of the grass. They will walk on the grass with no shoes on. They will roll in the grass. This is a huge relief. Especially since we are surrounded by grass. They continue to love the water. This goes for the big pool, the kiddie pool, the tub and puddles. They are little boys!! They continue to eat like there is no tomorrow. As of about a month ago they have put on four pounds and grown one inch since we’ve been home. We know just by picking them up that they have gained some more weight. They have met a lot of people since they’ve been home. At first , they are a little apprehensive but they warm to people pretty quickly.
The boys enjoy going to the park. They have been going there a couple times a week with their nanny. They think she is “the bomb”. We have been taking them on hikes in the woods. Patrick stops to look at every leaf, twig and flower. Lucas just likes to move. When he gets too far ahead of his brother he turns around and goes back to get him. They love to be outside, which is great. The boys have been helping us with the yard work. When we cut the lawn one of the boys rides along on the John Deere. They’ve picked up Mary’s addiction to weeding. After they get the weeds (flowers, twigs, grass, leaves) they deposit them in the in the wheel barrow. They had their first ‘pile of leaves’ experience – they had a blast. They sat in the pile of leaves and let Mary rake leaves on top of them and they laughed and laughed.
We have been home now for three months. WOW!!! There were moments that Mary and I wondered why we did this to ourselves. Okay, I wondered, Mary knew the answer. Lucas and Patrick are amazing kids. I know that this is coming from a doting father. Everyone who has met them cannot believe that they have been with us for such a short time. There are a lot of days when it seems like we have always been a family. There are other days that are hard to get through. Although, these days are few.
In the last three months the boys have been poked and prodded by more doctors than any child should ever have to see. Our first stop was supposed to be a meet and greet with their pediatrician. This turned into more of a full blown physical , i
ncluding a TB test. Looking back now , I’m glad that we got part of the process over. Next we went to the International Adoption Clinic at Tufts-New England Medical Center. We started the day with a developmental evaluation. We knew that the boys were somewhat delayed but not having spent an extended amount of time with other two year olds we had nothing to compare them to. The therapist who performed the evaluation was a woman that we had met at an adoption fair we attended. We spent a session with her at the fair and we were not overly impressed . When she showed up at Tufts , we were both relieved and concerned. It was nice to see a face that was familiar to us but our previous experience with her left us skeptical. We found out that she doesn’t work well with large audiences. She was great with the boys. Overall Lucas and Patrick were behind but not as much as we had feared.
Next we saw Dr. Laurie Miller, the director of the clinic. I will start by telling you that we cannot say enough nice things about her. Dr. Miller came in the room while the boys were eating their snacks. She told us not to hurry, she would come back after they had finished eating. We explained their eating habits to Dr. Miller. She told us to let them eat when they wanted. This was not a revelation to us. Dr. Miller to this day is the only doctor who did not make the boys scream. She brought out toys and sat on the floor and played with the boys before examining them. She let them get used to her and her instruments before everything that she did. She was amazed that they were doing so well so quickly. She found that Lucas had a slight heart murmur. She wanted us to have him looked at by a cardiologist just to be on the safe side , e specially since the boys were going to have multiple surgeries in the next year.
Next stop was back to the pediatrician for their first round of vaccinations. The boys each got four shots that day. If you want to talk about an ugly day. Two nurses came in the room and stood on either side of each of the boys. Mary and I held their hands and at the count of three they jabbed them at the same time. They did the same thing again and gave the boys Scooby band-aides. Needless to say Lucas and Patrick were not happy campers. We gave them Tylenol that night per the nurses suggestion but they did not have a good night. They were up screaming several times We felt so bad to have to put them through this so soon after coming home.
Our next stop was a geneticist. Then the cardiologist, the n the nephrologists and finally we went to the craniofacial surgeon for the cleft palates. We saw Dr. Mike Lewis at Shriners hospital
Boston. He came very highly recommended. He is getting ready to retire and currently only takes selected cases. When he heard about the boys he agreed to take their case. He came in the room and asked us some questions. Then he spent about two and half seconds looking in each of the boys mouths. He then told us, “yes, they need surgery”. Shriners is scheduling about four months out right now. Since this IS Shriners, they have a lot of patients coming in from out of town. If they get a cancellation where they can handle both boys they will call us. There was a visiting doctor with Dr. Lewis. He was Dr. Su from Guangzhou. At one point while Dr. Lewis was talking to Mary, Dr. Su leaned over to me and whispered “you did a good thing”. And since then we have been back to the pediatrician for more vaccinations. By December the boys will be caught up on all of their shots.
So, how are the boys doing you ask? They’re great. They have gotten over their fear of the grass. They will walk on the grass with no shoes on. They will roll in the grass. This is a huge relief. Especially since we are surrounded by grass. They continue to love the water. This goes for the big pool, the kiddie pool, the tub and puddles. They are little boys!! They continue to eat like there is no tomorrow. As of about a month ago they have put on four pounds and grown one inch since we’ve been home. We know just by picking them up that they have gained some more weight. They have met a lot of people since they’ve been home. At first , they are a little apprehensive but they warm to people pretty quickly.
The boys enjoy going to the park. They have been going there a couple times a week with their nanny. They think she is “the bomb”. We have been taking them on hikes in the woods. Patrick stops to look at every leaf, twig and flower. Lucas just likes to move. When he gets too far ahead of his brother he turns around and goes back to get him. They love to be outside, which is great. The boys have been helping us with the yard work. When we cut the lawn one of the boys rides along on the John Deere. They’ve picked up Mary’s addiction to weeding. After they get the weeds (flowers, twigs, grass, leaves) they deposit them in the in the wheel barrow. They had their first ‘pile of leaves’ experience – they had a blast. They sat in the pile of leaves and let Mary rake leaves on top of them and they laughed and laughed.